Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon wants his sword back. In other words, it’s still pretty abysmal. Let’s just say that it’s about on par with a Syfy original movie. Well, maybe more like HALF a step up from Uwe Boll territory. It makes about as much sense as Sir Ben Kingsley starring in Uwe Boll’s BloodRayne – but to give The Last Witch Hunter credit, it’s a step up from any of Uwe Boll’s movies. You’re probably wondering right now how an actor from The Lord of the Rings, an actress from Game of Thrones, and frigging Michael Caine ended up in this dreck. Kaulder is also hell-bent on finding the ones that cursed his closest ally and friend, played by Michael Caine. On his journey to save humanity, our hero gets some assistance from a young priest, played by Elijah Wood, and a young witch, played by Rose Leslie. 800 years after being cursed with immortality by the dreaded Witch Queen, Kaulder learns that a new plague is rising in New York City. Of course it’s never really explained why this last witch hunter can’t just enlist more witch hunters, but we’ll be here all day if we discuss every plot hole. Vin Diesel once again demonstrates his incredibly limited acting range as Kaulder, the last witch hunter in question. I’ve seen more realistic beards from Skyrim cosplayers. In the end, it fails miserably on both levels. Much like Dracula Untold and I, Frankenstein, this film can never decide whether it wants to be taken seriously, or just serve up some campy fun. For every movie that pushes the limits of imagination, though, we get something along the lines of The Last Witch Hunter. After being considered a lesser genre for years, mainstream audiences are finally starting to realize that fantasy can be smart, sophisticated, and even important. Fantasy movies have come a long way over the past decade and a half.

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